My Lesbian Best Friend Saved Me (No, We’re Not Dating; Yes, She’s My Soulmate)

Before I met her in 2012, I was spiralling. I was in a mental marriage with a person who convinced me that I was less than I was.


Fast forward 13 years and I’m still crying in the shower while dramatically playing Lana Del Rey kind of spiralling; like “maybe I should text my ex just to stir the pot” levels of unwell.


She always shows up, my lesbian best friend. The unexpected guardian angel in Vans and perfect box-red hair. No cape. No rom-com entrance. Just vibes, blunt honesty, and “stop being a princess” vibes too, and let me tell you, she has saved my life.


Not in a “pulled me from a burning building” way. More like she pulled me out of a toxic codependent relationship, a breakdown in aisle 6 of B&M, and several nights of crying over people who couldn’t even spell “emotional availability.” She even supported a time I flew to Jersey for a date with a man with 4 fingers missing - to be fair that was funny, apart from the bit when there was a suspected terror threat and I was evacuated (I wish this was a lie.)


She Didn’t Just Show Up - She Took Over Like a Boss


She walks into my mess of a life, looks around, and says, “Okay. First of all, no more texting men who say ‘lol’ instead of full sentences.” Then she makes me eat, shower, block three toxic contacts, and starts telling me I’m pretty (but she still doesn’t fancy me)… all in the space of half an hour.


She doesn’t just listen - she hears me. And then responds with exactly what I need; an awkward lesbian hug, a few drinks down the pub, and happily sends me off in the night in a car full of strangers, two poodles and a wide screen TV (inside factual joke!)


She Was the First Person Who Let Me Be a Complete Wreck


I didn’t have to pretend I was okay. I didn’t have to be “funny and strong.” I could cry so hard my mascara migrated to my collarbone and she’d still be like, “Okay queen, but let’s clean you up and burn some sage to rid those demons.”


She showed up with wine when I was too depressed to eat (wine is grapes and grapes are food.) She sat with me in silence when words were too much. She once drove to a place she had never been to find me during one of my breakdowns and didn’t even tell me off!


No Romance - Just Pure, Soul-Healing Friendship


We act like a married couple with no physical intimacy and a shared bond of being emergency contacts for each other. The truth is, we’re not in love. We’re just bound together; spiritually, emotionally, and through the trauma of all the awful people we’ve both dated, there’s a common ground of being single mum’s and our mutual hatred of my ex husband.


She’s the person I call when I don’t know who I am anymore; the one who reminds me I’m enough; the one who says, “You’re not broken. You’re just tired. And I’ve got you.”


She didn’t try to fix me, she just sat with me while I healed…. And whilst I’m still healing in a world where everyone wants to fix me or leave me, that is everything.


She Taught Me What Love Without Conditions Looks Like


She taught me love can look like holding space in times when nothing needs to be said; like sending memes when you haven’t texted back for a whole afternoon; like side-eyeing your enemies just enough to make them uncomfortable… we don’t care; we are the coolest people we know.


She made me believe in love again; not the romantic kind, but the kind that stays, that shows up that knows what you need before you need to ask.


So Yeah, My Lesbian Best Friend Saved Me


No, we’re not dating.

Yes, she’s my soulmate.

She just saved me with snacks, sarcasm, and so much unwavering love, I didn’t know what to do with it at first.


But now?


Now I just say “thank you” and I bring her chocolate or drama without her asking!

Because when someone saves your soul, you make sure they know they’ll never have to do life alone either. She is a unicorn and a grafter. She is my hero.


I love lesbian best friend… she is my sister.


Moany-Joany 💕

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